Mentalsidewalk

In this post:

1. Contest Winner announced.
2. 5th Christmas with the homeless on the streets of Hawaii.
3. 8 lessons I learned in 2011 that will change me for ever.
4. 4 critical questions for you to know where you are?

Christmas has always been one of the times that takes me through a roller coaster of mixed emotions.  Peaks of love, pain, annoyance, joy, disappointment, loneliness, but it always seems to end with a sense of happiness and warmth.

As most of you know, this would be my 5^th year spending Christmas on the streets.  Not sure why, but I was very nervous this year, if that is the emotion I was even feeling.

I even questioned if I was going to go out this year.  But a few weeks prior to Christmas Eve, a lot of you started to email me, asking if I was going to do this again.  That is when I was reminded;

Just because we cannot see the impact we have on peoples lives, it does not mean it doesn’t exist.

This meant a lot to me as lately I do question the impact of my journey, does it really make a difference in this vast world of ours?

Here is my journey revolving around this amazing holiday season. 

On Christmas Eve and the day prior, I had the pleasure of spending some time with an amazing Hawaiian ‘Spiritual Healer’ (can’t think of a better word for him).

The wealth of wisdom within this man is amazing.  I could have sat there and listened to him talk for days.

Out of the blue, he looked at me and said the words that re-ignited the perspective of my actions.

“You truly believe in what you speak about – now all you need to do is trust that what you do is making a difference for others.”

We all fall into one of the following, so I ask you, which one relates to you?

1. You Believe: You trust that what you do and believe in makes a difference in this world.

2. You Want To Believe: You consciously do not know if it does? But wish it so. (This is the trap at times I fall into)

3. You Don’t Care: You really just don’t care.

4. You have lost your way: You at one time believed it did, and so desperately would love to again.

 (Do share below which one and why? Its amazing the feeling when you write and share)

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So it turns out that by far this was my favorite year  – “Then again, I say that about every year.”  At least I finally got to do this in warm weather.

The strip here is 2.5 miles long and by the time I got back home, 2:45 am – I think I sat with almost every homeless on the strip and had a bite to eat with them.

It would always start with me sitting down beside them and starting an authentic conversation.  To value their space, the first thing I would do is ask their permission if I may join them for a while.

We at times forget that we have these beautiful homes that we would not expect a stranger to just walk into.  Well, lets open our eyes wide enough to realize that the small spot they sit in is their home.

Once sitting with them I would ask if they are hungry and would get them a meal from the closest food joint.  We would all sit there and enjoy our meal as we chatted about our life.  I would share about who I am, as a person, my fears, my dreams… and they in turn they would share theirs.

It was amazing, we laughed, we ate, we shed tears, we hugged, we supported.  The most grateful and happiest one of them all was when I brought this man a bag of dog food for his companion.

He made me cry as that small little gesture of thinking of his best companion in life was so touching for him that he shed tears for receiving it.

The difference this time around was, I got to share with them my life. Some of them it was my Good, some my Bad, and few my Ugly.

If we want people to be authentic with you, you have to have the courage to be authentic with them.

I wish I could say I am clear about what Christmas really means to me, but truthfully, I am not too sure.

In the meantime, I do know that it saddens me that most around us are so focused on what we are going to get, what we deserve, what we are entitled to and in the mean time we have lost sight of how we can touch others hearts, make people feel human and give them a sense of belonging.

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8 things Christmas Eve has reminded me of that I have grown from this year.

1. Be Authentic: Be yourself, no matter what the fear of the outcome may be.  You want to truly connect with all those in your life, than just be authentic.  You will be pleasantly surprised to experience that being authentic will always be a positive outcome.

2. Do not undervalue your tears:  It is your heart communicating with you in ways that words never can.

3. What is Forgiveness?: To forgive and not forget, is for the heart to not truly forgive.  What is the point or value to you in keeping all this crap inside?  If you are going to hold on to things, hold on to things that feed your soul and heart, not things that holds your heart in a box.

Have the courage to forgive not only those around you but more importantly yourself.

4. To judge is to be human: I will be more aware of my judgmental moments.  When we judge someone, we believe we are superior to them. And as soon as you believe that, you have closed your heart to receiving and giving love in ways you can never imagine possible.

5. I am Believable: Work on being believable instead of being interesting.  Being interesting is being a 1 hit wonder with those around you.  Being believable will build you joyful relationships in life.

6. Love the poem in entirety:  I often catch myself enjoying a poem and then suddenly I come across a line I do not like.  At that moment I have to decide to accept the whole poem for what it is or ditch it in entirety.  You either decide to love the person in front of you in entirety or you don’t.

7. Courage to be loved: I am getting better at having the courage to allow myself to be loved by those around me.  Or should I say letting them love me.

8. I make a difference: Having more faith that what I do does make a difference in peoples lives. We might not see the impact, but if you believe in your authentic work you can in turn believe there is an impact.

Now that I read the above 8 points,  I realized that my entire year has been a journey around them.  I truly would not have arrived to where I am on this Christmas Day, if it wasn’t for the amazing people that supported me in my journey this year.  For that I truly thank you.

I wish I could say I now have more clarity  about what Christmas really means to me,

but truthfully, I am still not too sure.

But I do know and believe that we live in a kind and beautiful world.  We all at times lose sight of what truly is important to us, to the ones we love and to those that cross our path as they walk by our life.

There is good in all of us, and more importantly there is love in all of us.  The best way to receive that love is to have the courage to be able to share the love that we carry deep within ourselves.

Thank you for letting me share this amazing experience with you.

I would truly love the gift of reading your Holiday Season gifts you have experienced. 

Please do take the time and share.

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 CONTEST WINNER:

Melonie Dodaro (email me directly your mailing address)

The First Prize we gave away is the beautiful pen

Get your entries in for the next prize.

http://www.mentalsidewalk.com/2011/12/quote-contest/

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With Love

Fred Sakari

Inspire – Educate – Execute

 www.facebook.com/FredSarkari

Check out the video of the kids plastering whip cream all over my face.  And some great pictures of my birthday with them in Cancun.

I knew this was coming, but was it ever fun to let them just enjoy themselves plaster the whip cream all over my face.

Then there was redemption.

My sister and brother in law have done such an amazing job raising these to trouble makers.  They are courageous enough to love, give love, create their own identity, compassionate, and loving to everyone.  So very proud of them

I had the greatest birthday ever.  It truly reminded me of how important it is to make time for the loved ones in your life, especially when you believe you have no time.

This was possibly the worst time ever for me to take a week off and go spend it with my niece and nephew in Cancun.  The amazing thing is when I returned, my world did not crash and I gained memories and experiences with the kids that can never be replaced.

Some of the most amazing people we had the pleasure of meeting.  I thank them for caring enough to see that I did not want to be around a whole bunch of strangers in a restaurant and have an exclusive time with my family.

So they set up a private patio and we over ate steak, lobster, shrimps and some more amazing food.

Danced all night and had a great time connecting with open hearts and dialogue.

The most amazing sister in the whole wide world.  I am so blessed to be loved by her.

She understands me for who I am and more so who I try to be at the core.

Kash, thanks for always being there for me and being the most amazing sister, mother, wife, and daughter.

Zubin, coolest brother in law one could ask for.  At times talks a little too much, -- but the most amazing father.

Even as I write this, I am starting to realize how fortunate I am.

Always going out of his way to make me feel welcomed on their family time so I can spend time with the kids and my sister.

When was the last time you connected with you siblings and told them how appreciative you are of them?  Send them an email right now -- tell them one thing you are grateful for.

The only thing missing on my birthday were the company of my parents.

The crap in our world will never end but the precious moments with our loved ones can never be re-gained.

Never lose sight of these 2 things:

1. What are the memories that you want to live for?

2. What are the memories that are passing you by?

The funny thing is every year I told myself that it is the worst time possible and lost out on amazing connections with the kids during these vacations.

Not really too funny, if you think about it.

Please share below your fondest of memories with your children, niece’s and nephew’s?

With love

Fred Sarkari

Inspire -- Educate -- Execute

I am giving away the following 4 prizes:

1. Ipad

2. $100 Pen from Cross

3. 10 books – “Mortgaged Millionaire” From Nolan Matthias

4. 25 of the new book that will be released with your quote possibly in it.- (for your friends, family and clients)

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Get your name and quote in the new book.

CONTEST RULES:

1. The quote has to be one that YOU wrote.

2. Add an explanation of what that quote means or how to use in one’s life.

3. You can add as many as you want – BUT only one per comment.

4. Do not worry about it being written perfectly – if it is one of the chosen ones to be in the book – you will have a chance to refine it.

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EXAMPLE:

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.”

Mother Teresa

Truly care about the people in your life and they will carry that feeling of love throughout their days.

The next 5 people you talk to.  Ask yourself, “how did I make them feel?”  That my friends is the beginning of true success.

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How to gain extra ballots to win

1. Every quote you share below will give you a ballot. No limits (1 per comment)

2. Press LIKE on this blog post.

3. Press LIKE on the fanpage and get a ballot http://www.facebook.com/fredsarkari

4. Follow me on Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/fredsarkari

5. Retweet the contest with hashtag #fredsarkari  (1 per day)

6. Connect with me on Linkdin - www.linkedin.com

Same person can win multiple prizes, so keep adding quotes if you wish.

We will do the first draw prize – December 23th – A Christmas present for the winner.

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Have fun

Fred Sarkari

Inspire – Educate – Execute

Rum made in someone’s’ backyard, a sweet mustache, and a peek at a master strategy. Take a rare look into the inner sanctum of my new office and learn how to be more efficient in your everyday work life.

Yes it is true, I got a mechanical table built.

Even though my office is not quite finished because I have some painting to do and a few other things, I still wanted to show you how things are progressing. Total Office has outfitted me with the perfect office to keep me happy and efficient.

Video below shows the new office along with tips and tricks on efficiency.  Watch the video and then come back and read about some more great ideas to make your life easier.

Watch the video

I hope you enjoyed the video.  Below are some Tips from the video to keep in mind in order to be more effective and efficient in your office.

1. Take a vacation tomorrow: Have you ever noticed you get more done the day before a vacation than you do in a month.  That is because you make a list of all your tasks and you start tick them off one at a time.  Not try to do 50 at the same time and just be busy. Well the fact is that we are constantly distracted by well meaning coworkers, checking emails, facebook, and a million other things. But if we make sure to stay on track our productivity can increase by leaps.

2. Send your email for a coffee break.  Stop checking you email every time the darn sound goes off.    This will prevent these small distractions that take the whole ship off course. Stop reacting to everything and stay focused at the task at hand.

3. Sing a happy song:  You will have to in order to get up a little earlier.  If you can, start your workday earlier than everyone else. You will be amazed at how much easier it is to accomplish things while you are all alone in the office. We have all have those mornings where we get a full days work done in a few hours.

4. Fortify your day:  That is a word I just made up but what I mean is that Henry Ford had an assembly line system to maximize efficiency. Try to orient your repetitive tasks in a similar fashion. This is where Total Office changed my efficiency in the office.  Helping me go through my repeatable tasks, we created a flow that now saves me hours of wasted time.

5. Wash your dishes: I love to cook, but if I enter a dirty kitchen I have no desire to cook.  I may still make something to eat, but there is no passion put into.  That is how most people start their day in the morning.  So much scatter on their desk that every morning they enter its a feeling of I just need to get my work done for the sake of getting it done.

6. Be sentimental: Surround yourself with things that matter.  Some might say, “this is my office and I am just there to work” yes that is true, but having things around you that make you smile will always make you more productive.

7. ***Most important lesson for your business**:  Every stage and every employee at Total Office made the experience amazing.  That is the reason this post was created.  Take the time to care about your clients and leave behind an amazing experience through the entire process.  What you will find is they will want to take the time to promote you.

Take the time to share some tips for us on what works for you in your office.

Fred Sarkari

Inspire -- Educate -- Execute

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Some are saying he was one of the greatest technology leaders we have ever seen.  Even though he very well may be – my curiosity is, ‘What made him so?’

The world has fallen in love with Steve Jobs.  If you ask me, most have no idea why except of the fact that he is the face of all these great shinny gadgets we get to play with.  No difference than falling in love with a poster model cause she wears the merchandise you like.

Who is Steve Jobs and what made his leadership style so amazing? – Gosh!, if you are going to fall in love with someone, atleast know who they are as a person more than the material gifts that they give you.

Jobs was an innovator not an inventor.  He did not invent the computer, music player or cell phones – he innovated them.  What made him such a great leader is that the essence of the Apple Brand is Innovation.

Lesson #1 -  A true leader stays consistent to his / company brand.

In order to do that, we need to be very clear about what our brand truly is.

He was also focused on getting things done.  He was not a talker more than a prover and a doer.  He moved forward with his ideas and visions.  What we do not see in the forefront are all the mistakes and errors he had to push through in order to give us our little shinny toys.

Lesson #2 – A true leader pushes through the stages of growth and development not only as an individual but also for the innovation of their products and services.

You want to love Steve Job’s, than love him for who he was as a person and a leader.  An innovator, a do’er, and a lover for what he believed in.

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” — Steve Jobs

Looking forward to reading about what you have learned from Steve Jobs as a person and a leader.

Thanks for sharing

Fred Sarkari

Walked by an individual on his cell phone today.  He sounded so determined in closing that sale over the phone that it seemed like he was willing to do anything possible to make it work.

Many people will give everything they have to excel in business. 

They will put in extra hours and give up their lunch breaks, hence their health.  They will attend seminars and read articles.  They will spend hours analyzing their sales and then spend even more time redeveloping their approach.

This kind of dedication will often yield real results in the workplace.  However, too many of these people fail to put the same effort into other parts of their lives.

All relationships take the same dedication and persistence.  In order to maintain meaningful relationships, you have to be able to stay focused on your priority relationships.

Sad to see more people respect their professional relationships than their own loved ones. 

 We need to keep learning about the other person and dedicate our self to improving who we are as individuals.

Growing a business is important, but growing relationships is what really counts.

Always ask yourself, if you gave your loved ones and yourself the respect deserved?

What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?

Today I had the distinct pleasure of speaking to 100 of the most amazing and inspiring women – The Women Of Whistler, or as they are appropriately known, WOW!

The evening at the Fairmont Whistler started with amazing appetizers, wine, and most importantly, some great conversations.

Then moved on to what they called the ‘Round Robin’, a further opportunity for everyone to get to know each other.   Hailey Guille, the past chair, was an amazing facilitator and kept everyone in stitches.

And yes, it is true – the evening ended with me telling 100 women that

“men are easy to please, we don’t mind if you fake it as long as you play along.”

Then they all got to see a brown guy go red!

I am not going to get into the explanation, but it is not what I meant, case closed.

I have been to many events that have a networking element prior to and after the presentation. This one I have to say was just different.

I know you are thinking “of course this was different, how could it not be with me being the only male in a room filled with 100 inspiring women?”

Aside from that, (which I have to say was amazing in itself), there was something else in the air that made this event an eye opener for me.

I have heard people in love say, “words cannot explain what love is, you can just feel it.”  We talk about the importance of truly caring about those around us.

At this event it was not the words that proved the caring, but the authenticity in the air – you could just feel it!

The amazing thing was that it did not matter if people were potential clients or in direct competition with each other; there was an undeniable sense of family within that room.

WOW is an amazing group that has been around for 10 years.  At this event the torch was passed over from Heidi to Kerrilee Auger as the new chair.

During the presentation I focused on how ‘Inspired Leadership’ is about taking a look inside of what it really means to be a Authentic Leader in these times.

5 Takeaways From The Presentation

1. Have the courage to be authentic.  We need to create a human identity in our business.  The best way to do that is to have the courage to be yourself and let those around you see you for true self.

2. Every decision we make is based on emotions that are connected to our past experiences so, after every interaction, always ask yourself “how did I make that person feel?” That has the power to change every relationship in your life!

3. Laugh and have fun with what you do.  The average adult only laughs 11 times a day.  Find that child within you and let him/her free.

4. Here is the most complicated one – smile, smile, smile!  A smile not only changes your mind set but also that of the people around you.

5. Here is the most important thing you should ask yourself as leaders;  “Am I giving more respect to my clients, co-workers and strangers than my loved ones?”  It is sad to see so many people whose respect for their professional relationships takes precedence over respect for themselves and their personal relationships.

My favorite part of the evening was having 100 women give me a good night kiss!  Okay fine, so I might have begged a little.        

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As some of you know I recently returned from a trip to Nicaragua.  What you may not know is that I came back with a bad concussion from trying to surf waves I had no business tackling.

Nicaragua was the perfect opportunity for me to get some work done and start my professional surfing career.  I only started surfing this year so it just made sense to me to go to a place that has surf conditions beyond my ability.  The intention being that it would force me to grow exponentially -- which I did, until the big bad wave put me in my place.

This post is not as much about my trip but more about the scary lesson and the awareness I gained -- something I hope will change how I live my life and impact yours as well.

First I’d like you to take a minute and check out this video – it’s a must watch!
I truly hope that I will be as childlike and young at heart 40 years from now.

This concussion has truly made me think about how we live our lives.

Most of us take pride in taking care of our bodies -- eating healthy and exercising.  Until now, I have not put much thought into how I keep my mind young, vibrant, alive…

Recovering from the concussion, I have had a hard time putting sentences together, connecting the dots, slow in speech and focus.  Quite frankly, it scares the shit out me.  Is this what it will be like for me 40 years from now?

That got me thinking – and I will ask you as well… what are we doing to keep our minds alive and young at heart?

Here are a few suggestions given to me by people like the couple in the video

1. Stop getting stressed about everything and anything.  I see people walking around looking like if you poked them they would pop – they are so full of things they worry about, things they cannot even control.

2. Grandparents play as hard as they can with their grandkids, wishing that they had more energy to play with them like children.  Do it now -- play, laugh, be a child.  In short, stop acting your age!

3. Keep challenging your mind -- I started using my left hand to do things.  Try brushing your teeth with the other hand and you will notice that everything around you slows down.  You start engaging your mind with intent instead of autopilot – kind of like how most of us live our lives and handle the relationships around us.

Now back to my nap -- if you’ve had a concussion you will know what I mean, you cannot get enough sleep and I am determined to heal as quickly as I can so I can get back to my surfing career.  Yes, I plan on going pro one day -- well, as long as they have a senior’s category by the time I get there.  Doubt me now -- I will see you on the beach when you come over for my autograph

With all seriousness, take care of your brain -- it’s the only one you’ve got and it needs to last you a lifetime.

Looking forward to reading your suggestions on how you keep your mind young and sharp -- please do share.

Do connect with me on FACEBOOK

Imagine this, a hand in a bucket of water.  As you pull the hand out the space it once occupied is filled instantly.  That my friends, is how fast most people “that space” can be replaced by their so called ‘loyal’ clients.

People want to connect to those they do business with.  If you do not create a human identity in your business there is nothing to connect to.  Marketing is nothing more then having the courage to reveal yourself to the world.

People want to connect to those they do business with.

After all, the entire point of marketing is to present your business to the masses. While many people know what return they want from their advertising campaigns or even who they want their marketing to appeal to, most forget to take the time to figure out exactly what it is they are marketing.

HINT** (Just incase you are having one of those days and missing out on the entire message) – If you keep marketing a product or service – you are no different from the rest.

Marketing is about putting your business out there–your business is a direct reflection of you, so essentially putting yourself out there–which means that you have to know yourself and your company first before you can try to sell it to others.

Ask yourself: How does my company look at its employees and its consumers? What does this mean you ask -

Change the way you look at people and the people you look at will change.

That’s it.  No fancy conclusion on this one.  Just take some time and figure out what your business stands for.  Once you do, your main competition will only be a bunch of fancy looking brochures most people send out.

What is the best marketing you have seen or done that represents a human identity?

For me life is a series of lessons put in front of us – our learning comes from looking back at how we reacted and responded to them.  It is very easy to blow things out of proportion in our daily lives.

As many of you know I just finished the launch of my new book “Courage to be Naked”. I didn’t just want to release it I wanted to release it with a purpose.  So because of all your support, we were able to put 25 new kids into supportive camps.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, life teaches us so many lessons and this book launch was full of them for me.  From how amazing people are by their support right to the other end of the spectrum of how easily people walk away from their committed word of support.

The postal strike was one of these challenges. All in all there weren’t that many books that were lost or didn’t reach their destination, but one in particular didn’t.  And yes, I was to be sued for $7.87.  ha ha – Yes, I myself had a good laugh.

We will leave her name anonymous as the intent of this post is not to embarrass anyone but more so to take this as a lesson for all of us on how easily we transfer our struggles we might be facing in life on to others.   I received a few e-mails that were escalating in severity from one lady who did not receive her free book and she was not impressed.

At first I was a little curious as to why someone would be so enraged about not receiving a free book. I took it as sort of a compliment, after all, she wanted my book so badly that she was angry at me for not having received it.

Being that there was a postal strike, I thought it was just delayed like a few others that had been sent. I sent a message back and told her I would look into it.  I had found out that books in her location was talking a little extra time.

While  I was sorting out the details with the distributor and Canada Post.  I got an angry e-mail back -

“I have requested a refund as i have still not receivede my order.  I have spoken to my lawyer and if I do not receive the refund in 10 business days you will receive a summons.”

- Her refund was for the cost of shipping a book.

A few things were going on in my mind.

1. The book was free and only shipping and handling was charged on the good faith that some of my recipients would donate to the cause.

2. She never even donated anything towards the children’s camps

3. What could cause someone to be so angry at such a small event in life.

4. This is a personal trainer where her main role is to help her clients feel good about themselves.  Be it the fitness industry or any other, if we focus on making people feel good and being compassionate it is amazing the peace we can spread in their lives and ours.

I must admit for a few minutes I was both angry and disillusioned. I was trying to raise money for children, and now I was being threatened with a potential lawsuit over shipping and handling?  I just felt I had better things to do.

Instead of the knee-jerk reaction of anger I responded with compassion. This person for whatever reason was going through something that I couldn’t possibly understand, and it made her lash out as a way of dealing with the feelings she was having.

By me reacting, I would be no better.  Worse yet, all I would be doing is spreading the anger and pain instead of compassion.

So my genuine reply to her was:

“Here you go XXXXXX – Your credit card has been refunded as of August 3rd 2011 – They took a screen capture for your records.

We also just got notification back that the book was shipped and dropped off – so someone at your gym actually has your book as well as it was shipped to a gym….

We might see each other at the Can-Fit-Pro conference.  Where I hope to have the opportunity to apologize for this inconvenience and stress all this has caused in your life.”

Yes, you read right – the book was actually shipped and delivered - probably being read by someone with sticky fingers even as I write this.

Here is the power of compassion.  I received a reply back from her and I had to wonder if this was the same person.

“I will definitely stop by at the conference and I would love to meet you in person as I continue to be a fan of your work”

So if I had reacted to my knee-jerk response of initial annoyance, not taking into consideration her feelings or what she may be going through, I would’ve turned a fan into an enemy.  And worse, spread anger instead of compassion.

In life we need to slow down enough to realize that we are all human and as human’s we at times need to vent our emotions onto others.  When we do not take this personally and honor the people for where they are at that moment in time, we in turn honor our self.

……. She never said if she was going to drop the lawsuit though? : )

Always remember to be nice to everyone, especially those that need it.

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Do share below the times you struggled to be nice or humanly reacted

I feel so blessed with all of you sharing your good deeds.  We often feel strange about patting ourselves on the back. Posting your good deeds is not bragging and there is nothing wrong with taking pride in doing good things. It is actually inspiring to others and ignites positive action within others as well.

I was emailed by a lady who read one someone’s good deed Facebook posts. She told me that “Reading the good deed inspired me to go home and spend more quality time with my daughter that night – I have not seen such a smile on her face in a long time.”

Good deeds are not about grand gestures, they are about creating positive feelings in others and there is no measure for how far that deed will travel. This whole contest was worth that one story.

This whole contest began by letting one stranger make a left turn during traffic.  One good deed can resonate through thousands of people.  Unfortunately the reverse is also true but the power of kindness is much stronger than anger.

I just want to thank you all for the stories and emails. Remember to consciously acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, it helps us become aware of the kindness within and takes us on a path of Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds and there is no telling how far that will go.

And now without further adieu……the winner of the Cross watch is…….

Congratulations to Afreed Mistry, and I hope the watch is a constant reminder to take time in your world for others. It is one of the most special gifts you can give to others and yourself.

Afreed, connect with me directly with your address and Cross will mail you the watch directly.

A special thanks to Cross for donating this watch in support of good deeds.

This time we have a very unique watch giveaway with a unique contest.

I had such a blast doing a video interview today on intimacy and authentic relationships. Video to come out soon.

One of the things we talked about was the importance of taking the time to do the little things in our relationships. That is easier said then done.

We live in such a fast faced world that we keep telling ourselves, “I will take the time tomorrow – she will understand – there will be another soccer game my kid will play in…”

Just recently I was driving during rush hour, if you can even call it that in Kelowna. I stopped to let a Van make a left turn and the car behind me sped over to my right, gave me the finger and drove off.

Wow! – Here I am taking 5 sec. to do a good deed and he was reminding me of what this world is turning into.

I caught up and pulled up beside him to ask, very nicely, why he would give me the finger. He says “I want to get home” and takes off into traffic.

Even his wife had a disappointing look on her face.

Based on that experience, this is what I would like to do.

Cross has donated this beautiful unisex watch valued at $305.00 US for the following contest.

Everyone of the below gets you a ballot to win.

1. Become a fan of my facebook page:

www.facebook.com/fredsarkari

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2. Make a post on your facebook page starting with:

@fredsarkari – the good deed of my day is……..

(you get a ballot for everytime you post one – limit one ballot a day)

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3. Every time you post a comment on any of my blog posts:

www.MentalSidewalk.com

(limit one ballot a day)

We will draw for the watch on August 7th.

If the person that wins will be in any of the cities I will be traveling to – I will personally buy them lunch when I give them the watch.

Lets all go out there and start putting more importance on the “little good deeds” that we can do everyday.

Together the ripple can cause an amazing tidal wave.

Good luck everyone.

Fred Sarkari

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A ZOROASTRIAN

I felt a tear flow down my face as I sat there in the second row of the Chan Center.

Vista Trethewey was singing Believe with a group of adorable Zoroastrian children as her back up singers.

It was not only the moment I realized what it meant to be a Zoroastrian, but more so, it was the moment I realized how proud I was to be a Zoroastrian.

Watching close to a 1000 Zoroastrians from all over the world connecting with one another, made me realize for the first time that we are part of a bigger calling than I ever realized.

Speaking on that stage was by far one of my greatest honors that I had the pleasure of experiencing.

We are more than a religion, a community, or simply a group of people.  I truly believe that we together can and will impact the lives of all those that cross our path in this world.

It is the essence of who we are

and all we have to do is have the courage to live out our destiny.

Standing there on stage, I could see and feel the glow of love that radiated in the audience.  Giving my heart and soul a sense of true belonging.

Being a Zoroastrian is more than placing the text – good words, good thoughts and good deeds upon our walls and saying our prayers every day.

Being a Zoroastrian is turning those words into our everyday reality.  It is truly finding the courage to live the essence of those words in our daily lives with anyone that crosses our path.

We have not only survived but thrived through centuries

because of our soul connections within each other.

Experiencing the World Congress made me realize that how we live our individual lives impacts us all as a whole.

Thank you to all the people that made the 5th World Zoroastrian Youth Congress possible.  It is more than just an event, it truly is an opportunity for us all to build bridges within our lives.

We can and will ignite true love in this world with

Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Deeds.

I would love to know what your favorite part of the 4 days was and what you took away from it.

Please take the time to share your comments below.

CLICK HERE to connect on facebook.

Thank you to everyone for joining in and having fun with me on this contest.

The winner for the ipad 2 is below.  She is holding her brand new ipad 2.  Covering her face a little as she requested not to have her face plastered all over the internet.

Congratulations Sarah from the United States.

She did not waste time running to the Apple Store and picking up her new ipad.

Hope you enjoy ipad and find a lot of use in it.

*******THE MOST AMAZING THING******

Now for what I think is the most amazing part.  Cross read one of my readers blog post.  (which I have attached below) And was so touched by his awareness that they have decided to send him a very very very nice pen with his name engraved on it.

Here is the image of the pen.  Retailing for approx. $125.

Here is the post that he wrote: one of our readers wrote on the blog:

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I decided some time ago that I wanted an iPad but also that I didn´t want to take the money out of my budget to buy it since I don´t really need it….

When I saw the competition here I knew I would be going all in to win it and since then I have enjoyed writing here every day.
As with things I want to achieve in life I figure out what it takes and go for it consistently. Do what it takes to reach the goal.

But is it rational…? Naaah
The hours I have spend writing in this blog could easily have paid for an iPad if I had spend that time working or coaching.

So why to do it and what made me motivated…?
Well. I like to WIN. And when the iPad is being given I know that I did what I could to have the biggest chance to win it. Werther I get it or not I know I did what I could.
Winning it would be great and make my mission complete.
Not winning would mean that the universe will send it to me from somewhere else. I still had the joy of commenting here in this blog and it has been a great journey for me.

Actually writing here has motivated for restarting my own blog that has been closed down for a while.
Also I have enjoyed this so much that I will for sure keep interacting with Fred here in his blog.

So think about motivation….
Motivation very often doesnt make sense. I have seen that often in both my job as a swimming coach and as life coach.
For one client preparing the coffee machine in the evening was all it took to wake up 1 hour earlier in the mornings and go to the gym. Once he got used to preparing the coffee before going bed he got back in the shape he had when being a national team basket ball player.

Remember when there is something you want to motivate yourself or others to do that the tricker that start it all can be something very simple – and it will be different for all of us.

Lets keep enjoying Freds great blog!!

Mads

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Mads, you have just proven that when you have pure intent to grow, connect, impact and just enjoy the journey – great things always come your way.

Thank you everyone.  We will be starting another contest.  Connect with us on facebook as there will be one give away after another.

Wow! is all I can say.  What a great experience it has been.  Working with so many partners in order to spread the word for this amazing charity.

I have learned so much and made some great friends along the way. For me, the most precious thing was how so many of you opened up your hearts in order to help with this cause.  I wish words could describe how I truly feel.

Impact You Helped Create

- Collectively we raised a little over $10,000.

- The most amazing thing is when it comes to creating awareness for the charity.  there were close to 250,000 emails that were sent out through partnerships like yours.

Exposure was the main impact we were trying to create with all your help.

- Because of all your support and exposure, we will be able to put 25 more children into full week camps.  These are kids that would have ever had the opportunity without your support.

iPad 2 Winner:

What everyone is waiting for – Who will get the ipad 2? – We will be giving that away in the next 7 days.  If you want to win, all you have to do is press ‘like’ on our facebook: www.facebook.com/fredsarkari -    Click here to press ‘Like’

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Video Of The Presentation – ‘Courage To Be Naked’

Here is the video from our closing presentation – “Courage To Be Naked” – A big thank you to Total Office for Sponsoring this event.  And the Chamber for hosting it.

Thanks to Carmen from Total Office and Frank Byl from Power Concepts for their surprise donation of $300 each to the ‘About Face’ Charity at the event.

There Are Only 6 Days Left

The book launch officially closes on June 30th.  If you still want to get your free copy, this will be your final chance.  CLICK HERE

Once again, thank you to everyone for all your generosity, your time and effort.

This would not have happened without everyone supporting each other. Thank you for all the impact you have made in the lives of these children.

Please do keep in touch over -  FACEBOOK

Fred Sarkari

Looking forward to your comments below, thanks for taking the time to do so.

One of the hardest things for us to do is to give something up.  Heck we have a hard time getting rid of things we do not even want or care for let alone the things we enjoy.

It was not easy to lock up my road bike and not ride at all this year.  It was actually a very hard thing for me to do and took some time to mentally be okay with it.  Probably as the last time I had to do that, it took almost 10 years to be able to get back on the bike.

This time around I am listening to my body a little more and being proactive so I can be back next year.

My physio did suggest I should try riding a mountain bike around the city as the geometry is a lot easier on my back and hips. He did make it very clear that they should be casual rides – I must have not been listening at that point in time.

I am so so so happy, as he was right.  I putter around town with the mountain bike and it feels good to be just on one.

Than it happened, the darn ego and the desire to have more kicked in.

Thought to myself, well I should try actual mountain biking.

I had no idea how hard this sport is – not just physically but more so mentally.  I have gone approximately 6 times onto the trails and 5 of those times came back with some blood on me.

The last one made me think about sticking to the roads and just enjoying the calm riding that I ‘should’ be doing.

What was amazing was that every fall I took, was not due to the lack of physical ability but all of it was a lack of mental belief that I can.

This was the start of the bruising.  And the lack of ability to take full breaths.

Going down the mountain and it just kept getting steeper and more rocks kept appearing.

The path went narrow and I lost focus for one second and thought to myself, if I were to fall those rocks would hurt and I could fall off the cliff.  Well guess what happened as soon as those thoughts entered my mind.

Those darn rocks hurt and lucking I did not go over the cliff but the bike did.

Doubt is one of the biggest killers that hinder our achievements in all aspects of our lives.

The only times I crashed was when there was a snippet of doubt that entered my mind and that gave enough of a belief for my body to think I could not do it – Leading to another crash.

Remember, your mind knows no difference from what is real and what you tell it.

If you tell it that you cannot do something and it cannot. If you tell it you can, than it will find a way to do it.  It is as simple as that.

So next time you are facing a mountain, either straight up or straight down, you just have to believe you can and it is amazing how many things we have the pleasure of achieving, feeling, experiencing in this beautiful thing we call life.

Our mental state that we face these moments in life determines whether we just existed as our years pass us by or did we truly live our lives by experiencing and cherishing every single one of these moments, the Good, Bad, and Ugly – All of them is what life is truly about.

Sorry to be so graphic – As I was standing there in yoga doing a Tree Pose, my stomach tensed as I felt my breakfast come up my throat, and as it hit the back of my mouth…

It all started last night when I was driving back from Vancouver after having a phenomenal session with Royal Bank.  What makes a session so phenomenal to me?  I had a lot of fun, the group walked away seeing their roles and relationships with a different perspective and everyone had a lot of laughs throughout the session.

I was feeling so good and on a natural high that I had the urge to drive straight into the gym that night.

That is a big thing as I really have not been doing much since I started yoga almost 2 months ago.

I had a great workout on my own hitting the punching bag.  On my way home I was talking to our local celebrity Sandy Pembroke. A Celebrity due to not just owning the stores, Your Gym Bag, but also his background as a professional fighter.

Well, he went on to say he just took on a fight that will be in 10 days and would I like to show up in the morning and be a sparring partner for him.

My best quality as a sparring partner is essentially a moving punching bag for these guys.  The beauty of this sport is when one has a fight others jump in and do what they can to help them succeed.  Imagine what this world would be like if we had that mentality in all aspects of our lives with those around us.

I show up this morning, still a little tired from last night and boy oh boy, did I walk into what you call the best and worst work out in a long time.

Sandy has a good 100 pounds on me and what an athlete.  I know as I have a sore rib, head and nose to prove it.

After I got my beating in the ring by him we went to the bag for another cardio workout.  Really, I have no idea what to say except of the fact that I truly wanted to throw up and just collapse – my body was not used to this at all.

As the coach kept yelling out – “its all in your mind, believe you can” Wow!  Just listening to such words we were able to muster up enough energy to keep going.

Let those words ring in your minds next time you think twice about what you are capable of doing.

“it’s all in your mind, believe you can”

Now comes the not so smart decision.  As some would say “Dumb ass, what were you thinking?”

I figured I would go straight from there to Moksha Yoga in order to stretch and loosen up. Ha ha – Dum ass!

As soon as I walked in and laid down for my Savasana (you lay down and let go of everything) – Well at that point in time I already felt like letting everything go – from my stomach out of my mouth.

As I am thinking about leaving the instructor walks in and guess what – I am in the furthest corner away from the exit.

Focus focus focus is all I kept telling myself.  It’s 60 minutes and you will be done.

ha ha – I can truly say I do not remember most of that class as I was in such a daze.  Sat through most of it as any movement made me feel like I was going to either pass out or throw up.

Time to do the Tree Pose – I thought to myself, “well that is an easier pose that requires balance but not to much strain on the muscles.”

As I went to raise my arms I felt my stomach spasm and there she came running up my throat.  As sick as it sounds it hit the back of my mouth and with everything I could muster up I pushed it right back down again – I know I know, sick.  Well better than throwing it up on the person beside me in a fully packed class.

The main thing that helped me through this class was what one of my readers, Louise, here on the blog once mentioned.

“letting go of expectations and just riding the wave”

Well, I survived, barely made it home and crashed for an hour.  Woke up, ate some food (fine, ate a lot of food) along with a few advil’s for my back due to the morning workout.

Once again, in the pursuit of wanting to get back into shape I have done nothing but shock my system, ached my body and slept the day away.

The funny part is, as I was typing this I got a call back from Sandy asking if we can go back to the gym tonight for another quick sparring session.

Sandy my man, you are an animal.

Can you guess what the answer to his question was?

I went to my first Moksha Yoga class here in Kelowna.  I am not too sure how I really liked it as yet compared to the hot bikrham yoga, but I am committed to going for the next 30 days.

I did find it not as uncomfortably hot as the Hot Bikhram Yoga.  When I finished I actually felt like I can continue my day instead of feeling like I needed a nap and starving to death.

Since the Moksha yoga circulates their hot air from the outside, you could feel a difference in the cleanliness of the heat. If that even makes sense.

Not that the change rooms were bad in any way at the Bikhram Yoga, but the ones at the Moksha were pretty fancy.  Even had shampoo and Conditioner in the showers that did not smell like the ones they use in hospitals.

I rushed to class and forgot my water bottle and when I got into class my stomach insisted on letting everyone know I was hungry from the beginning.

They do have a Yin class which I have never heard of.  It is all about stretching your hips and lower back so I am very excited to try that class on Sunday.

Over all, I like the fact that they have different kind of classes and different lengths as well. The 1.5 hours at hot Bikhram yoga was really difficult to make time for.  Over 2 hours by the time you get there, shower etc.

But, I did find that the Hot Bikhram yoga stretched me out more and for sure I felt like I had a harder workout.  Maybe the more intense classes at the Moksha will also make me feel like I was run over by a truck.

Oh one more thing, they actually played music which was awesome, other then the fact that I could not hear what the instructor was saying so I had not choice but to look around to see what I was suppose to do.  Which as you can imagine did not work too well as I kept forgetting the intent of why I was suppose to look around…

Yup, I went for sushi right after and just could not help myself with the pleasure of over eating.

Anyone out there can shed some experience when it comes Moksha and Bikhram yoga?

Thanks for sharing

Do join me on facebook for more insights

Yoga is truly testing my will of perseverance lately.

Today I had to leave class for a while and the instructor with a smile on her face said.  “Fred, if you are walking out for a break you better not come back without throwing up.”

To which I mentally responsed, “That will not be an issue.”

The last 5 classes have been a roller coaster.

The first class. I had to sit down for a few poses, as was feeling a little dizzy. Not a problem, as part of yoga for me is to help me keep my ego in check.

The second class, I was even worse.  How could I be getting worse?  I ate right, and I was hydrated and ready to take back my self-acclaimed title of Master Yogi Fred.

Leaving the class I realized that I was so determined to have a good class that as focused as I thought I was, I did nothing but distract the calmness of my mind – that is where your strength is.

Yoga, just like in life, is not to control our situation but more so to embrace where we are at during that moment in time, and cherish it.

Class number 3 – what a damn disaster.  All I can say is I was getting turned off this yoga crap, taking up my 2 hours, coming home hungry and dizzy and all I want to do is over eat and take a nap.  Really, what the heck am I doing this for?

Now I had 4 days left to my 30-day commitment.  Ah! What is 4 more days? I came this far, I have committed enough and another 4 days is not going to make a difference.

I woke up the next morning and realized:

Quitting now will not make a difference to anyone’s life.

Except the one that matter the most, mine!

How can we expect others to rely on us if we can’t even rely on our own commitments?

So I rechecked my attitude, I put all expectations aside and I went back to one more class.

My forth class turned out to be the best class I have ever had.  In my heart I had reclaimed my self-acclaimed title of Master Yogi Fred.

We too often quit inches away from the best experience of our lives.

How sad to think what else we have given up in our lives?

Today was my 5^th class and I was excited to see the progression.  Ah! Damn Yoga shit, playing with my emotions like a roller coaster relationship.  I have only been dating her for a month and already she is driving me crazy. – I almost threw up today and had the worst class I have ever had.

I have 2 more days left – guess what I am going to do with a smile on my face.

Thanks for listening and sharing

Have you got your ballot in for the free ipad 2?

http://www.mentalsidewalk.com/2011/04/ipad2-contest/

Today was my 8th class at the Bikram Yoga.

I think, I do say, I just think that today might have been the day.

I finally started feeling a sense of progression.  (In my mind this was the pose I was doing.  In reality you do not want to know.)

The amazing thing is not only physically but also mentally.

That being said, the physical acceleration might just have to do

with my mental progression.

I decided to take my mind to a different level -  before, during, and after the class.  I had one consistent focus no matter how my poses were progressing today.

I told myself,

“I will keep having a genuine internal smile throughout the entire class.”

For those that are missing out on my point – It is a way of saying relax and enjoy the moment.  Stop focusing on others, stop focusing on where you want to end up and how much better you want to be.  Just cherish, enjoy and fall in love with where you are at.

Today, Instead of ‘huffing’ my breathe when I could not finish a pose, I smiled and embraced the joy of the progression. It was amazing, I truly enjoyed the class today more then any other.

I also am starting to learn what my body needs as in nutrition to survive the 90 minutes of exercise in the heat.

Today’s Nutrition:

- 1 large glass of water 2 hours prior class

- Bowl of oatmeal with berries and dried cottage cheese, 2 hours prior

- A spoon of unpasteurized honey and hour prior class

It was great, I was not hungry or dehydrated.

3 Lessons for my yogi friends:

1. We too often give up to quickly on the things we want to do in life.  If I used my first few sessions as an indicator of Yoga, I would have quit and missed out on all physical benefits and mental awareness.

2. It is critical to know where you want to end up.  BUT, never at the cost of losing sight of the reason why.  It is the Why that will keep you going when most will give up.

3. Just enjoy where you are at.  We live in this fast paced, results oriented world we have all created for ourselves.  Slow down, and just enjoy the moment.

Thank you to all those that are supporting and guiding me with their experience.

The ipad 2 Contest has just started.  Many simple ways to get your name in a ballot.

CLICK HERE FOR Ipad 2 CONTEST